I started out this week so good, really felt like I had found some inner strength to get my sensible eating plan going. As the week progressed, my devotion started to slide and I started rationalizing my food choices again. I tell myself things like “If I eat the doughnut this morning, then I can work out longer tonight to burn it off.” Unfortunately, I don’t work out and then the next day I step on the scale and am bummed to find I have put on weight. My being bummed leads me to just throw in the towel for the day and eat what I want. On top of that, because I feel like I ruined the day by making bad choices I don’t work out saying, “well I already blew it today, I’ll just relax and start fresh tomorrow.” I am like a bad album, sometimes the music plays great and works and then sometimes it skips and skips and skips.
Sometimes I think I should undergo some sort of hypnosis to despise fattening foods and love working out. Seems simple enough, right? I really feel like something is broken in my brain. Why do I eat when I am not really hungry? Why do I eat dessert when I am full? Why can’t I just lose weight? I think the answer is that I am addicted to food. Food makes me feel good, a great tasting meal evokes a very real feeling of satisfaction. When I am stressed, eating a bowl of cereal or snacking on something decadent seems to ease the pressure a little. When I am sad or lonely, food fills the gap. However this momentary happiness that food brings comes back to torment me. I really don’t like the way I look and I know its so bad for me to carry this extra weight. Another feeling that stems from being overweight is shame. Going to the pool or beach I am so ashamed of the way I look. I hate it! I don’t know how to break the cycle, I just know I seem to be stuck in it.
I would love if folks out there who have overcome something similar or who specialize in helping people get past this would reach out. Would love a guest author to share some ways they have found success!